If you have followed me on social media over the past few years you will know that back in 2019 I decided to make a New Year’s Resolution to learn a new language. Despite having studied French at school to Higher level, my lack of ‘multi-lingualness’ was woefully shameful. So, I uploaded the Duolingo app onto my phone and made a point of making a serious stab at learning German – a language I had done in S2 at school and absolutely aced in the end of year exam (I still can’t work out why I dropped it for Standard Grade).
Four years later, I’m still plugging on with German (arguably, I did finish the German course but then Duolingo updated their app and added millions of new levels) but have also added Norwegian (could be useful for a holiday sometime), Swedish (same reason), Scottish Gaelic (well, they do speak it up north and it might be good to know), and Russian (just because the letters are weird and I thought it would look impressive). Yes, I do get German, Norwegian, Swedish, and Gaelic mixed up at times, but on the whole I’m getting there. At least German, Norwegian, and Swedish sound like they look when written down. Unlike Gaelic. And I have no clue with Russian – I’ve kind of given that up over the past year.
Anyone who has learned a language on Duolingo know that often they ask you to translate phrases which you just know you will never, ever, ever need; or at least you hope you won’t ever need. I have compiled the best 15 of these which I have screenshotted over the past year. There will be a further few posts in the future featuring any more. A new series – Duolingo Duds, perhaps?
First up: a recent occurrence in my Gaelic course. I shudder to think when I would be likely to use this…..
Ready for number 2? OK here it is. It’s much in the same vein, but I mean, really? I have to say that the Gaelic course does focus a lot on underpants, haggis, Irn Bru, and herring.
Third, we have this little gem from the spattering of Russian I did. I mean, this could be useful but I’m not going to go to Russia any time soon. Probably never. But hey. Don’t even ask me how this is pronounced.
Number 4 now. This is my Norwegian existential crisis. This will actually be useful to use even if it is said under my breath to myself when I am a little exasperated with my thesis chapter-writing.
Number five, from my German course. Admittedly, if I were a vegetable I wouldn’t like vegetarians either. A bit like turkeys not liking human beings at Christmas-time. There is only one outcome and it isn’t pretty.
Number 6. I mean, this happens all the time. Cats giving women skirts (shakes head)……
Seventh – I have to admit I have actually said this either when my interlocuter thinks I’m being a bit slow on the uptake or I’ve had so little sleep that I can barely lift it off my desk.
Number 8 – halfway. I need to have a chat with my Guardian Angel and ask him/her this question sometime. Otherwise, this phrase is kinda pointless really……..
Number 9. I cannot comment on this. She always appears sober when she is dealing with me. I’m usually the one in want of the alcohol when I know I have to visit her…..
Tenth up now. Breaking back to Norwegian from German. I have only seen this happen once, in Greece. I don’t know if this is also a custom in Norway so until I go and see for myself, this phrase will remain in Redundant Phrase Room 101…….
Nearly there. Number 11 in my really un-useful countdown is this one. This one doesn’t even need a comment……
Number 12: I don’t know about German universities but I doubt the presence of sheep would affect my decision to study at one. Unless they pulled the wool over my eyes or fleeced me for cash. I haven’t herd of that happening there though. Maybe she was mutton dressed up as lamb?
Number 13, unlucky for some. Unlucky for the person whomever I end up saying this to………
Number 14 now, penultimate un-useful phrase. Admittedly, and perhaps coincidentally, this came up during a week where there was a lot of global news about the climate crisis. But…… I hope I don’t have to use this.
And finally, the last one. Or ones. You get a double whammy for the last one. The first translation is so simple that I think Duolingo is having a laugh. As for the second one…… well, the mind boggles. Suffice to say, I’m very unlikely to use that little gem.
So, there are my first 15 Duolingo Duds. Don’t get me wrong, I love Duolingo and learning my languages – I’m on a 1107 day streak – but the odd weird translation is a little entertaining. Once I have collated some more, I will post them in a future blog. I’d be interested to know if anyone who is reading this (is there anyone?) also uses Duolingo and has equally as…..inappropriate….. translations.
June's Jottings 
They’re fab
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These things make learning a little more entertaining!
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